D. Jean Quarles

Happy Monday!

2012-03-05T07:16:00.001-08:00

Bloom where you are planted.

Maintaining a Balance: A Challenge During Retirement

2012-03-01T05:00:00.000-08:00

Once again its time to learn how to balance

our crazy lives.

Today I'm honored to host

John J. Hohn,

author of Deadly Portfolio

“Life is a little like crossing a big body of water in a boat. You really don’t notice that you’re going anywhere when you’re out in the middle of it. The only time you can see that you’re moving is . . . as you begin your journey and as you see it drawing to an end.” --Matthew Wirth, Deadly Portfolio.

Wirth speaks to a common perception among people at the end of their working careers. Few writers earn a living wage from their craft. Most need to balance their scribe’s passion with the demands of job, family and community. Writing often loses out. The consequences for ignoring the muse are neither as immediate nor as dramatic as postponing the tasks of attending to marriage, parenthood, and the role of provider. For those who have sustained their scribe’s passion through to the later decades, retirement looms as an oasis of unstructured time. Therein lies the challenge.

Obligations follow the writer into retirement, harnessed or not, and the first task is to set priorities for allocating the hours. The amount of time left is palpable. An inventory of resources is key to making certain time is used wisely.

A writer’s resources include energy, personal support, professional support, physical comfort, good health, play, and passion for the art (scribe’s passion). In retirement, the scribe within gets first claim to the better hours of the day. Some rise early and work several hours. I rise to a twenty-minute walk with my dog Jessie and it gives me time to ponder any challenges in my work. Upon returning, I answer emails for up to an hour and a half and write posts for facebook, twitter and linkedin. Then I am off to the gym for an hour—a daily habit for 35 years, one that carried over into retirement. My body expects it. When I postpone it until later in the day, everything feels oddly out of sync. My physical fitness regimen has enabled me to maintain a cardio-vascular profile of man 20 years younger than my actual age.

Returning from the gym, I have breakfast, attend to the housekeeping chores that are mine to complete, and I then write. By noon, I have protected five of my major resources—energy level, health, scribe’s passion, professional support on the Internet, and my play (My gym friends include some Harley bikers who think it’s cool that an older dude works out and writes mysteries.) At noon, my wife and I lunch, after which I nap before returning to my desk for another hour or more to write. By mid-afternoon, my muse is spent. The rest of the day belongs to my marriage and my family.

My wife and I spend an hour watching something together on TV. I take another walk with Jessie so she can attend to certain biological imperatives, and I stay physically active with projects around the house and the yard. The structure may seem rigid, but I don’t apply a stern management hand. Twice a week, I chuck everything for a round of golf with my friends. Personal support also includes being attentive to my five children, stepson and grandchildren. They are priority in my affections but do not take much time because of the logistics involved. They are as comfortable with our relationship as I am.

The senior writer is aware of what the years have taken away and what they have gifted in exchange. Physical stamina may have diminished but a deeper view of human nature compensates. The sense of being in the thick of things fades. Contacts retire. Connections are difficult to sustain. As the need to pursue every new trend wilts, a sense of detachment fills the void. Passion can be addressed dispassionately and a much more human and universal statements find their way onto the page.

I harbor no illusions about having the next great American novel within me. I stay committed my calling and nurture the modest hope that my books will one day be widely read and appreciated as good literature. Believing that may happen even years hence sustains me. The joy is in the journey.

________________________

I am a Midwesterner by birth. Yankton, South Dakota, is my hometown. I graduated from high school there in 1957. After four years earning degree in English at St. John’s University (MN), I became a teacher. My first wife, Elaine Finfrock, also of Yankton, and I had five children; four sons and a daughter. We divorced in 1977.

In 1964, I joined The Travelers in Minneapolis, MN and began what turned out to be a 40-year career in the financial services industry. During the that time, in addition to The Travelers, I held positions with Blue Cross/Blue Shield of Minnesota, Wilson Learning Corporation, and Wachovia Bank and Trust. While at Wachovia, I marketed I retired at the end of 2007 after 17 years as a Financial Advisor with Merrill Lynch serving over 300 clients in the Winston-Salem, NC area.

In 1986, Melinda Folger McLeod and I were married and I gained a stepson, Matthew. Currently, we divide our time each year between our cabin New West Jefferson, NC and our cottage in Southport, NC on the Cape Fear River. I enjoy golf, music, and reading history. I retired in 2007 and focused on completing my novel, Deadly Portfolio: A Killing Hedge Funds. I have been very gratified by the acceptance and reviews the book has received and spend my idle minutes thinking though the plot for my next effort.

* * *

Please let me know if you would like to be considered for a guest post spot, writing about balance.

And as always,

thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment.

I'm Thinking Spring!

2012-02-28T05:34:00.000-08:00

I know

for many of you

its still

winter,

but in California

this is what greeted me

last week.

Hope you enjoy,

they are just for you.

Belly Dancing for Balance

2012-02-23T06:05:00.000-08:00

It's Thursday,

Balance Day.

I just love to read all these great posts.

So many amazing people

who seem to have it figured out.

Today I'd like you all to welcome

Aditi Chopra!

I am a writer and I absolutely love writing. I do it because it gives me happiness. There are constantly new and different ideas floating through my mind and sometimes an urge to pen them down. Sometimes I pen them down and later rewrite them because I have thought of phrasing it in a better way, in a way that suits my personality. It is interesting how some ideas come to you while you were sleeping. You get off from bed and can't wait to pen them down. Sometimes these ideas shoot off from a conversation with a friend or colleague. You can say that your mind gets trained to capture ideas and then you don't even have to look for them, they come to you!

In all of this, you don't want to neglect family or yourself. And it can happen if you are too engrossed in it. I sometimes force myself to take a break if I have been at my laptop for far too long. The break is physically required and also needed to freshen up the mind. Your neck muscles need a break if you have been sitting in one position for far too long. I tend to forget that even mind has a certain capacity and should not be burdened more. I find that cooking is a good stress reliever. If you have time, your cooking will definitely come out good. And your family will be very happy and satisfied.

Lately I have enrolled in belly dancing class in order to create more balance in my personal life. I find that it is a great workout as well as social outlet. Workout of any kind is good both for physical as well as mental happiness. But if a workout involves social interaction, it is even better. It lets you laugh a little, talk a little and of course burn calories at the same time. This is why I enjoy going to Curves rather than any other gym. Curves setup allows more interaction with other women.

Another absolutely enriching hobby for me is traveling. Traveling opens up your mind in so many ways. You learn so much about different cultures, places, sometimes languages. I always find my mind working better after a travel vacation. It could be because my mind needed that rest and I just didn't know about it.

All in all, we shouldn't neglect our family or ourselves. It is only when we balance our lives, our work becomes better.

____________________

Aditi Chopra is a motivating leader, process consultant and a creative writer. She is the author of Ten Mistakes A Manager Should Avoid.

She utilizes her experience in software engineering, people management and communication strategies to help create value for organizations. You can find her on http://www.aditichopra.com/

In a House Full of Women

2012-02-16T05:05:00.000-08:00

It's

How To Get Balanced Thursday

Today's guest is author, Bridget Straub

Finding balance in a house full of women is not always easy, especially as I am the menopausal mom of two teenage daughters. Okay, to be honest my youngest is only twelve, but she is right on the cusp and a performing arts student besides, so I think it’s safe to say she’s teenage by association. I love my girls dearly, and yet I am a writer, working from home, trying desperately to gather an audience for my first published novel, “Searching for My Wand”. You would think that at this age, my girls would understand and respect this. They do not.

I remember way back when I had my son, now (gulp) twenty six, someone said, “You think they need you most when they are little and unable to fend for themselves, but just wait until they reach middle school, because that is when they will need you the most.” I had no clue how true that was until now. When my son hit adolescence and was turning into a teen, I was having two more kids. I assumed any neediness on his part was as a result of that. He did, and still does, adore his little sisters, but it seemed a no-brainer that he would fight for attention with all of the changes taking place.

This time it’s different. There are no new siblings these girls are adjusting to; they just want my full attention to be on them at all times. This is not to say that they are horribly demanding, either. As kids go, I have been lucky. They are perfectly capable of entertaining themselves for substantial periods of time, just so long as I don’t try to accomplish anything. It is downright freaky how my beginning to type a post for my blog, or researching some new marketing strategy, can send them running into my room. Often it is to complain that they are hungry and they need me to review for them what is available to eat, because God forbid they look for themselves. Occasionally, I’m forced into the role of referee when they are battling over the TV, but more often than not they are just coming in for some love or to review what has happened at school, and this is where the problem is. I can’t send them away.

I want to know what is happening with them; I’m their mother. Likewise, I love that they still climb into my lap and want to connect with me, and that they find comfort in my arms. They are my joy and my inspiration, as well as the reason I work as hard as I do. Sure, I want my writing to sell because it is thrilling to create characters that others relate to, but I also want to show my children that you can follow your dreams. I want them to grow up to feel passionate about whatever they choose to pursue in life. So balance is elusive in my house. I write whenever I can, and mostly when my girls are at school. At times it’s frustrating, but in the end I wouldn’t have it any other way.

_____________________

Bridget Straub began concocting stories to entertain her younger sister when she was seven years old, and hasn’t stopped since. When she’s not writing, doodling, or hanging out with her kids, she’s probably cursing at her computer. Her first novel “Searching for My Wand” was published in Dec. 2011. Her next novel will be released in spring 2012. She has also collaborated with Laura Hall on the musical “Room to Grow”.

The Big Yes, Yes!

2012-02-09T07:44:00.000-08:00

Today's guest blogger is Linda Rondeau.

I'm so very pleased to share her

struggle with a life of Balance.

By Linda Rondeau

“Lord, I can’t do this anymore. It hurts too much,” I cried. “I wasn’t meant to be a writer.” I looked up at the wall of award certificates and thought I heard the room laughing at me.

Not that there haven’t been a few successes along the way. I’ve managed to publish articles, short stories, poetry, and I write a newspaper column. I’ve even had an agent for five years. But after eight failed books, I wondered if I heard God all wrong.

My first career had been in human services. I was a decent social worker as social workers go. But I wanted to reach people outside the government experience. Although a hobbyist writer, I hesitated to believe I could be a professional one.

When my youngest child left the nest in 1995, I asked God to give me a passion for something. Soon after uttering that desperate plea for renewal, my office sent me to what I termed a feel good seminar, the kind of workshop that motivates a person to go home and hug all the neighbors. The speaker asked, “What do you want to do with the rest of your life?” Then he instructed us to put our answers unto a 3x5 card. I wrote, WRITE. Then the speaker told us to expand our dream. Before I could catch my breath, the speaker called on me. I found myself publically declaring the desire to write for Christ.

I let doubt rob me of that momentary passion. “God does not care about your dreams. Your job is to be a good wife, mother, and neighbor. That is true Christianity. Forget your foolish desires.” The more the call tugged at my heart, the more I resisted.

Until June 21, 2000…the day the dream was reborn. Armed with faith lacking five years before, I started the journey. My first attempt was a poem. Not a very good one, but I felt a peace that had long eluded me. The excuses ended and the journey began.

Here I am, however, almost nine years later, still struggling with disbelief, fighting the urge to delete all my books. “I don’t understand why we haven’t been able to get you published,” my agent wrote. That’s what I’d like to know, Lord. What do I have to do? What am I missing? Why won’t you let me go back to being a hobbyist? I liked writing then.

A few weeks ago, during my devotion time, I opened my Bible to the fourteenth chapter of 1 Corinthians. I’d read the familiar passage about the harmony of the Spirits’ gifts. I had not applied the truth to my writing gift. My craft had been for my own pleasure. Oh, I used words about Christ, and my books did contain spiritual truth. But the whole of the affair was not in clear delineation of that truth. Instead, the writing drew attention to me as if shouting, “See how clever I am?” Like a room that cannot be lived in, I’d decorated my space with imagery, symbolism, and cadence that served no purpose but to edify myself.

God’s word had perfect clarity:

Again, if the trumpet does not sound a clear call, who will get ready for battle?

(I Corinthians 14:20)

I asked God to forgive my arrogance, and help me to put His message above my need.

But the Lord had yet another, even more profound lesson in store. A few days later, I read God’s words of love as he renewed the call and once again infused me with the same passion as that day in 1995.

For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God. Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come

(2 Corinthians 1:20 – 22).

I don’t know what the road ahead will bring. But I do know that at the end of the journey God’s arms will be stretched wide to welcome me with a huge, “Yes! Yes!”

___________________________

These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them. I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them (Isaiah 42:16).

After setting out on a forced vacation, and literally running into a moose, Manhattan Assistant D.A. Samantha Knowles finds it’s not so bad being stranded in a quirky but intriguing Adirondack town. But when her three-year prosecution against convicted killer, Harlan Styles begins to unravel, she’s thrust into a whirlwind of haunting memories, fear, and danger. And suddenly, Haven isn’t so safe, after all.

With no future in Haven, and no way to escape the small town, teacher Zack Bordeaux fears he’s doomed to a life of mediocrity.

Haunted by the deaths of his wife and son, landscape artist Jonathan Gladstone feels bound to an estate he both loves and loathes. But when Zack and Jonathon meet Samantha, their lives take on a different course.

Three lives intertwined, tied together by dangerous circumstance and the faint echoes of an elusive hope. To make it through, each must find their way to the Light that’s found only on the other side of darkness.

Linda Rondeau (lrondeau@gmail.com)

Author of The Other Side of Darkness

Trailer:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0Me_jOBFVM

Website: http://www.lindarondeau.com

Blogs: This Daily Grind

Back in the Daze

Pentalk Community

If you are interested in a guest post on balance, please let me know. I'd love to host you, too!

Balance by Trisha Jackson

2012-02-02T06:54:00.000-08:00

I started writing my first romantic suspense novel in 1991. Hiding away in a lonely house in the country to write without being disturbed was not an option. I have always had to hold down a full time job.

"Write every day", we are told. Also, to do one's best work one has to be "in the zone"—which is usually impossible if you are constantly being interrupted. I had teenagers in the house, and my evenings were filled with cooking, homework, and all the other tasks mothers are faced with. When the chores were all done, I was too exhausted to even contemplate work on my novel.

Mornings were my only option. I set my alarm for 5:30 and wrote for an hour before getting ready for work. It worked out well for me and I was able to get a lot of writing done while everyone else in my house slept.

The Internet had not yet been launched, and the big publishing houses controlled the industry. I sent queries to several publishers, and received several rejections.

After the introduction of the Internet, the publishing world changed exponentially. Then E-books arrived on the scene. The power had been taken away from the big corporations and placed squarely in the hands of the people.

Maybe it comes from years of practice, or maybe it is because I am so passionate about writing, but now, I am able to write anywhere at any time. I keep my computer on my lap in the evenings and write while my husband watches the TV. I keep my novels on a flash drive and write whenever I have a spare moment at work. I write when I babysit my grandchildren or take them to sporting events. Sometimes I write for five minutes, sometimes and hour or more. It doesn't matter—it all comes together eventually.

My second novel, "Redneck P.I." was published by e-book publisher, Uncial Press, in March 2011. It's a combination of humor, suspense, and sizzling romance. I'm also excited to be re-working my first novel, about undying love, "Way Out of Line" for e-book release by Uncial Press in May 2012. Details available at www.trishjackson.com .

My advice to any aspiring writers is just to write whenever you can and whenever it works for you, and never give up.

_____________

Trish Jackson grew up in Zimbabwe, Africa and relocated to the U.S. in 1990. She comes from a family of writers and artists, and is passionate about writing romantic suspense. She has always lived out of town and keeps a blog about country life.

Conscious Choices: the Pathway to an Authentic Life.

2012-01-26T07:59:00.000-08:00

I'm so loving my Thursday posts

on Balance.

My guest this week is

Mary Jo Guglielmo, an intuitive life strategist.

Read on!

Sometimes when you’re looking for balance in your life you just have to jump ship. That’s what happened to me 18 years ago. Having had my first child in my thirties, my identity was very much defined as a working professional. With two young children, my life was hectic, but seemed to have a manageable rhythm. I loved my job, the environment, the fact that every day was new with its own rewards and challenges. Yet I felt stuck on a treadmill I couldn’t stop. I was a member of the generation that believed that you could have it all—work, motherhood, a great lifestyle. Eventually, I began to realize that for me having it all came at a price. When I was finally willing to examine my true heart’s desire, I quit my job to be home with my children.

I pruned away an identify that no longer fit, shed possessions I didn’t need, released desires that weren’t real and created an authentic life. Financially at first, it was a real stretch but we cut back on expenses. It didn’t seem like we were depriving ourselves; instead we were making conscious choices. It wasn’t about planning for the future and worry about the past, it was about making the most empowering choice possible by grabbing what I truly wanted in the present moment. I learned the importance of defining your core values and then living a life that reflects these values.

It’s a process I’ve done many times since then. We’ve been through many different stages at my house and at each new juncture I ask myself what’s most important in the present moment. What makes my heart sing now?

Maybe an outside force will give you the push to re-examine your life and assess what’s most important to you. But why wait? Two of my favorite questions to start this process are:

1. What's working in my life . . . what's not?

2. What in my life brings me joy?

When you determine what you truly value, review the things you do, the things you own, the way you spend your time and resources. Are these things supporting your core values? The balance in life comes when your daily activities reflect what you value most. There’s no better time than now to explore your true desires. You might not need to jump ship like I did, but you may need to throw a few bags overboard. Happy Travels!

Mary Jo Guglielmo is an intuitive life strategist. She helps clients push through their blocks, envision their path and take the necessary action to live their true north. If you are interested in an Artist Breakthrough session or a Personal Mentoring Program go to http://donorth.biz/personal_sessions.htm

For more information check out www.DoNorth.biz or folllow her at:
http://theadvantagepoint.wordpress.com
http://www.helpingchidrencope.blogspot.com
http://twitter.com/do_north
http://facebook.com/DoNorth.biz

Life Lessons on Balance

2012-01-19T06:18:00.000-08:00

My goal this year is to live a more balanced life.

And having these amazing people

share their views on balance

simply is inspiring.

Today's guest post is by author, Kenneth Weene.

Enjoy!

I know I did.

Balance

Like most young children, I liked playground equipment – that is most playground equipment. I didn’t like seesaws. My brother, who is older and was therefore bigger, would always con me into joining him on the seesaw only to sit on his end and keep me trapped, legs dangling uselessly and hands gripping in terror, high in the air. Then, when I had been suitably intimidated, he would jump off and allow me to fall to the earth, invariably crying as a result.

It wasn’t fair. I knew that we were supposed to balance that long beam so it was even, but we never did. Over time I came to think of maintaining balance in life as very important, but I also had learned that life is not fair. Accepting its unfairness was an important lesson. Being prepared to pick myself up after disappointment or after my brother jumped off the seesaw was an essential life principal.

Fast forward about fourteen or fifteen years. I was a freshman in college. Like all colleges, Princeton had a physical education requirement. I ended up in a boxing class. Our coach, Joe Brown, was a delight of a man. He had been a professional boxer, and he saw boxing as less about fighting and more about dance, rhythm, and balance – especially balance. I wasn’t very good at the sport. I hated hitting others almost as much as I hated getting hit. But the idea of balancing myself struck home. We would take our stance, and Joe would push against us. If somebody wasn’t properly balanced, if his weight wasn’t properly distributed and set low, down he would go in an embarrassing heap.

Quickly I appreciated the lesson of balancing myself, of tucking in, of setting my feet and getting low. I thought of that balance as self-organization. If we aren’t prepared and organized, we are not ready to deal with life.

Joe taught me other lessons about balance as well. In addition to boxing, he taught sculpting. While I didn’t sculpt, I liked him well enough to occasionally hang out in his studio. He always had music playing – usually classical Spanish guitar. It wasn’t simply a love of music but also a keen awareness of the need for aesthetic sensory input. There was also decent wine to drink, the earthy smell of the material, and the sensuous tactile experience of working the clay. And there were wonderful discussions an unending flow of topics.

The balance of sensations, including intellect and emotion, helps us to live fully. I call that the balance of life.

Besides sculpting, Joe designed playground equipment – not the static equipment of my youth but interactive climbing apparatuses. When one child moved, it would change the equipment for all the other children who were on it. This meant that the child had to be aware of the social matrix in which he or she was playing.

Social balance is important if one is to find fulfillment. If we are not balanced in terms of the significant others in our lives, we will find ourselves very lonely.

These four balancing lessons are integral to my artistic endeavors. My creative milieu is words; I’m a writer – mostly novels but poetry and short stories as well. Every day I sit down at my computer and type away. It would be easy to lose perspective and focus, to become wrapped up in my work, unable to accept the inevitable rejection letter, digging my way deeper and deeper into a maze of my own mind. It is so very easy to lose balance. That is why I like to review these four lessons, to think about their application to my life.

Periodically I ask myself four questions:

1) Am a ready to deal with disappointment? If the story doesn’t work or the rejection letter comes, can I get on with my work?

2) Have I got my life organized so I won’t be caught off guard? Have I taken care of what has to be done?

3) Am I getting good quality input to keep my mind and body in tune? Have I planned ways to fill my personal space with the quality sensations, information, and nurturance that will allow me to be productive?

4) Have I thought about the social world in which I am pursuing my art? Have I taken proper steps to meet the needs of those who are important to me and have I made my needs clear to them?

I no longer play on seesaws or climb on jungle gyms. I’m long since out of college and well past the age when I could box even if I wanted. However, the life lessons about balance still hold true.

________________

Life itches and torments Kenneth Weene like pesky flies. Annoyed, he picks up a pile of paper to slap at the buzzing and often whacks himself on the head. Each whack is another story. At least having half-blinded himself, he has learned to not wave the pencil

A New Englander by upbringing and inclination, Kenneth Weene is a teacher, psychologist and pastoral counselor by education. He is a writer by passion.

Ken’s short stories and poetry have appeared in numerous publications including Sol Spirits, Palo Verde Pages, Vox Poetica Clutching at Straws, The Word Place, Legendary, Sex and Murder Magazine, The New Flesh Magazine, The Santa Fe Literary Review, Daily Flashes of Erotica Quarterly, Bewildering Stories, A Word With You Press, Mirror Dance, and The Aurorean.

Ken’s novels, Widow’s Walk, Memoirs From the Asylum, and Ken’s newest novel, Tales From the Dew Drop Inne are all published by All Things That Matter Press.

To learn more about Ken’s writing visit: http://www.authorkenweene.com

The Great Balancing Act

2012-01-16T06:34:00.000-08:00

It's my turn to talk about

Balance.

Check it out here!

Checking In

2012-01-15T08:22:00.000-08:00

So I'm super excited about the

guest bloggers who are

sending in posts

about balance.

Boy, am I learning a lot!

I hope you are loving them, too!

Don't forget to check in on Thursday

for the next one.

And now, on to other business:

Right before the holidays

I won Soap!

And the reason you are just now hearing

about it?

Well, I've been bathing a bit . . .

I must say,

this soap is the most amazing

soap ever!

Judy sent it to me from Soap n' Such.

Check out her blog here

She and her blog are lovely.

Let her know I sent you.

Even my guests over the holidays remarked

on my soap.

Of course, I did share some,

which just means I'll be stopping by

Judy's to get some more soon.

I'm also working on a new knit project.

I'll share photos later.